Friday, November 13, 2009
Test
I need to brighten up the postfor my bad eyes to go back and read. I am wondering if this is too bright. This is a test . Just a test
Friday the 13th
Are you superstitious ?
according to what I heard on the radio 21 million people are. I am not one of them. If it was the full moon and Friday the 13th maybe. But more nervous of the full moon then any particular date. People are strange when their is a full moon, very strange.
Well the date didn't keep people from coming in to get their haircut. We were pretty busy. and that's a good thing any day...Can't make money without customers. So far Friday November 13th, 2009 is a good day.
I went to my Husbands counseling appointment today, the one that was his where I was supposed to come alone. That I ranted and raved about. It wasn't so bad. I had to come to the very real terms of how bad my Marriage has been, always not just do to the husbands illness. I have to decide if I can live with the fact that I am always going to be alone. James cognitive functioning is always going to leave me without someone to talk too, who can function or process information well enough to be supportive of my needs. The answer is I am not sure. I am just not sure. How can you know?
I have just made the decision to hang on get my dental work done and move on it next year if I am still feeling like this. I feel more attached to the Life I have built here, within these 4 walls that I claim to hate, then I do the man.
I am skipping school again tonight, thought I was going to get a bonus night off form work tonight, but not to be.
Hope everyone has a freakishly good Friday the 13th
Wish I was doing something to honor the event, but please keep that bad juju away from me , nah I am not superstitious at all...................
according to what I heard on the radio 21 million people are. I am not one of them. If it was the full moon and Friday the 13th maybe. But more nervous of the full moon then any particular date. People are strange when their is a full moon, very strange.
Well the date didn't keep people from coming in to get their haircut. We were pretty busy. and that's a good thing any day...Can't make money without customers. So far Friday November 13th, 2009 is a good day.
I went to my Husbands counseling appointment today, the one that was his where I was supposed to come alone. That I ranted and raved about. It wasn't so bad. I had to come to the very real terms of how bad my Marriage has been, always not just do to the husbands illness. I have to decide if I can live with the fact that I am always going to be alone. James cognitive functioning is always going to leave me without someone to talk too, who can function or process information well enough to be supportive of my needs. The answer is I am not sure. I am just not sure. How can you know?
I have just made the decision to hang on get my dental work done and move on it next year if I am still feeling like this. I feel more attached to the Life I have built here, within these 4 walls that I claim to hate, then I do the man.
I am skipping school again tonight, thought I was going to get a bonus night off form work tonight, but not to be.
Hope everyone has a freakishly good Friday the 13th
Wish I was doing something to honor the event, but please keep that bad juju away from me , nah I am not superstitious at all...................
Monday, November 9, 2009
And More on Frustration
Tryin to register for my Winter 2010 classes ob Bakers website and I can't cuz I can't take the co-req at the same campus!! lame ass School
I am so sick of it. I so need to get out of there and go somewhere where I can get a real Degree. It's not that it is not a real degree, its just harder to get the MSW after I will have to go for two years and do two feild assignments instead of 1 and I would be done in 10 months.
Oh well seems to be the way it goes Huh?
I am at work waiting for 1 O'Clock to roll around so I can go home for the day. Its been kinda slow and the weather is awesome outside so I am more than ready to go home for the day.
Still haven't taken pictures of the piled up totes of Halloween goodies. I worked outside yesterday raking leaves up and wanting to enjoy falls last kiss, before the harshness of winter sets in and leaves that bitter chill that hits all the way to the bones. I haven't moved the stuff up to store in the attic yet because I need to do some cleaning an reorganizing up there first. I do not want my Halloween goodies buried and tossed here and there like the Christmas stuff is.
I am so sick of it. I so need to get out of there and go somewhere where I can get a real Degree. It's not that it is not a real degree, its just harder to get the MSW after I will have to go for two years and do two feild assignments instead of 1 and I would be done in 10 months.
Oh well seems to be the way it goes Huh?
I am at work waiting for 1 O'Clock to roll around so I can go home for the day. Its been kinda slow and the weather is awesome outside so I am more than ready to go home for the day.
Still haven't taken pictures of the piled up totes of Halloween goodies. I worked outside yesterday raking leaves up and wanting to enjoy falls last kiss, before the harshness of winter sets in and leaves that bitter chill that hits all the way to the bones. I haven't moved the stuff up to store in the attic yet because I need to do some cleaning an reorganizing up there first. I do not want my Halloween goodies buried and tossed here and there like the Christmas stuff is.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Apartment Needed
I find mysell in need of a place to stay. Starting tonight... I cannot be here anymore. I don't kno where I am going to go. But I have to go. I guess the backseet of my car looks better than this freaking hell hole.
I must have aged 10 years in the last year. I look like hell. My Face is a trainwreck of acne and bumps. I have never had acne in my life.
I have spent days trying to put my thoughts together for his counseling sesssion on tuesday morning. Well It's his session but I am to go alone. Which I do not want to do . I have a therapist I do not need to see his. He does. But he goes in there and lies to him. He lies to himself . Oh the only thing I care about is making her happy.. Bullshit!!
He wants to make me happy if he doesn't have to physically do anything or put any work in to make that happen. I wanted to make things work, but you can't work alone.. I wish I could be the hero of my own story. But when someone puts up roadblocks on every road you try and travel. You find your self left with nowhere to go.
So here I am left with nowhere to go. I am however not all dressed up............
I must have aged 10 years in the last year. I look like hell. My Face is a trainwreck of acne and bumps. I have never had acne in my life.
I have spent days trying to put my thoughts together for his counseling sesssion on tuesday morning. Well It's his session but I am to go alone. Which I do not want to do . I have a therapist I do not need to see his. He does. But he goes in there and lies to him. He lies to himself . Oh the only thing I care about is making her happy.. Bullshit!!
He wants to make me happy if he doesn't have to physically do anything or put any work in to make that happen. I wanted to make things work, but you can't work alone.. I wish I could be the hero of my own story. But when someone puts up roadblocks on every road you try and travel. You find your self left with nowhere to go.
So here I am left with nowhere to go. I am however not all dressed up............
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Almost the weekend
It's almost Friday
not that means what it once did..Sense I have started working at the leaning tree I only have 1 day off a week and that is Sunday..
Kinda sucks..I am going to talk to them about not working every weekend, Rachal said they will use the hell out of me if I don't stick up for myself.
I am sure that is true.
Not really having much else to say today. Yesterday was my Girls 22nd birthday. Hard to beleive that 22 years ago I was a new Mom, scared out of my wits.
I had Ashley all on my own, Her Dad never steppin up to be a Dad. Thank Goodness for the awesome parents I had who helped in everyway they could. Love them and Miss them everyday.
Happy Birthday Girlie!!! Hope they just keep getting better.
not that means what it once did..Sense I have started working at the leaning tree I only have 1 day off a week and that is Sunday..
Kinda sucks..I am going to talk to them about not working every weekend, Rachal said they will use the hell out of me if I don't stick up for myself.
I am sure that is true.
Not really having much else to say today. Yesterday was my Girls 22nd birthday. Hard to beleive that 22 years ago I was a new Mom, scared out of my wits.
I had Ashley all on my own, Her Dad never steppin up to be a Dad. Thank Goodness for the awesome parents I had who helped in everyway they could. Love them and Miss them everyday.
Happy Birthday Girlie!!! Hope they just keep getting better.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Post Halloween Blues
The pumpkins for this year. I did the BOO with a dremel tool and used a drill for the center holes. I liked it alot. The big one is supposed to be a creepy tree.I just free handed the drawing and dremeled the outline and cut but I guess I should have used some stabilizing pieces and left some things attached. A well Not bad for a first try and certainly the best I have done.
I packed away most of my Halloween decor last night I definatly need to take pics of the number of boxes that are piled up and the addition of all my new target goodies I added at the post Halloween sale.
The stack is approx 5 to 6 feet tall and 5 feet wide maybe? and thats not even everything. I haven't been able to bring myself to take down the bates Motel sign or the New witch mask I bought at Peir One. Those may have to be moved into my bedroom for year round use. I could use the inspiration....oh yeah and there is still a tote on the floor with out a lid.Some of my favorite decorations for the year my fifteen dollars worth of glass ware bar or apothocary area
Me on halloween singing Karaoke at the Leaning tree golf course
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Paulaween 2009
Well here is my low-down for this year
I ended up getting a phone call form a friend and ran late getting ready. Had to be totally in my own get up before taking D out cuz I had to be at the Tree by 9.We didn't head out for our rounds until after 6. D wasn't stressing.
Ash went with me, As did Jager, Edward and Bella.
Dalton wore James camo stuff. Jager had on a prisoners striped uniform. Ed was a Pirate Jagers old suit. and Bella wore a snowbunnie outfit. They Rocked.
Didn't get pics of everyone we left Marinti at home it was cool and her hair is short and then she wouldn't get in the car.
Dalton got a decent amount of loot, as glad he went. Did carmel apple shots at my Bosses house and chilled by her fire for a few.
The bar had some customers. A few in costumes. Not enough. All and all it was a cool night.James was bored. I looked sweet. I still have more fun just singing and drinking than being the Dj and Karaoke Jock.
I had a good night all in all and it was my first time out on Halloween in my whole life. Only took me 42 years. lol
I will post some pics tommorow.
Only 364 days to go.........lol
I ended up getting a phone call form a friend and ran late getting ready. Had to be totally in my own get up before taking D out cuz I had to be at the Tree by 9.We didn't head out for our rounds until after 6. D wasn't stressing.
Ash went with me, As did Jager, Edward and Bella.
Dalton wore James camo stuff. Jager had on a prisoners striped uniform. Ed was a Pirate Jagers old suit. and Bella wore a snowbunnie outfit. They Rocked.
Didn't get pics of everyone we left Marinti at home it was cool and her hair is short and then she wouldn't get in the car.
Dalton got a decent amount of loot, as glad he went. Did carmel apple shots at my Bosses house and chilled by her fire for a few.
The bar had some customers. A few in costumes. Not enough. All and all it was a cool night.James was bored. I looked sweet. I still have more fun just singing and drinking than being the Dj and Karaoke Jock.
I had a good night all in all and it was my first time out on Halloween in my whole life. Only took me 42 years. lol
I will post some pics tommorow.
Only 364 days to go.........lol
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