It had been nearly a week sense my last post. I had intended to be doing a better job of keeping up with this than that.Butt in that almost week I helped my daughter say goodbye to a friend, a friend who sadly took his own life.
I of course saw my own marriage slip down into the darkness, I have no idea why I am still even here. Hopeless as it is I wake up and carry on every day only to be mistreated again. I guess verbal abuse seems to me to not be a justifiable reason to walk away. Although it is, as a educated Woman I know the difference on how we should be treated I know what abuse is. So why is it so hard to believe. Why does it always feel as though I am doing something wrong, aside from the fact that He always blames me.
And my Hisband is ill, and the thought of leaving him always makes me feel so bad knowing he is not well physically or mentally.But then again how is that my problem? He isn't fighting to get better and yes I realize that there are things that no matter how much you wish them away won't go, but he has given up. Dr. Adler told us he is lucky to be alive, I am not so sure anymore.