One final thing

I just noticed that it is only 303 days till halloween... SO I just have one final blessing to ask of for my next decade....please let inspiration stay with me all year and please I need the mojo in august , sept and All of october not just the last three days.............
NOt to much to ask

New Years Eve 2009

Wow the first decade of the new Millennium has come to an end........................
Personally I haven't loved the 30's and early 40s of my life..........I hope 2010 is going to usher in a new something or other..Hopefully peaceful... tranquil.. I will try to be open to it......
This decade I saw a lot of personal tragedy..The loss of my Sister, and my Mom. Step-Dad was gone in 1997. A whole generation of family gone in such a short time. The sole survivor of the generation is me....Who am I to carry on the family..
The collapse of our belief in our government (Hurricane Katrina, the war, the President)Maybe its just my belief but I think others feel the same...
The collapse of our auto industry, which in Michigan is a pretty damn big deal.
The collapse of my marriage and then before we could even rebuild or move on the collapse of my husbands health................ A grandchild who I never got to meet.....

I hope 2010 ushers in something better globally for many who suffer... I am sure many more than me have it much much worse..
May god give us health in 2010... and love and kindness....and strength of family..

Despite such hardships I want to recognized the blessings I have had in the past 10 years..
Besides having to kids who are pretty healthy...I have added 4 new family members..Jager, martini, edward and bella...My Chihuahua's.Love them all everyday and feel blessed that they love me back....
My health has been fairly good. Thank goodness..
I have been able to go back to school. Love that...I have a job I like and work with people i love...
I have learned to be creative...To make art, art people would pay for if i was selling...I have learned so much more about who I am and that I am OK...
Happy 2010

Twas the night before...............

Christmas Eve........
have way to much wrapping left to do.
Why I procrastinate every year I do not know. You would think I would learn. But maybe It wouldnt feel like christmas if I wasn't rushing to get crap done and feeling like I could never get things done in time.
Oh well tis the season to be jolly.......
were gonna have the happ- happiest christmas sense Bing crosby tap danced with Danny F***ing Kaye
Holy Shit where's the tylenol?
Merry Christmas to all

Been a Bad Blogger

I have done a terrible job of keeping up with this. To busy with other things, haven't spent much time going on line at all. Haven't been keeping up with others blogs or Tim Holtz's 12 days of christmas tags....

Almost done with school for the semester which is awesome. I do not think I am going to make the presidents list this semester I am going to wind up with a A- in one of my classes. I am pretty sure. And thats okay but it sucks too I've gotten used to getting those little pins....I have yet to attend the lunch. Sold back my text books only got 76 dollars for 500 dollars worth of books.

Found out Dalton has downloaded 88 dollars worth of crap to his cell phone which he promptly broke after doing so and they were subscription items...so that would have been 88 a month if I hadn't figured it out.
***Edited to add****
and 270 dollars worth of stuff from the Playstation network...I'm Gonna Kill him!!!!!

***end edit***
Pretty much done christmas shopping for the year. If I don't go out to buy more. Cuz it is really about what I want to give than what they want.

Today was the babies first snow and Bella went outside with no problem at all. Edward was a little slow to go and of course Martini wanted nothing to do with going to cold for her short short hair. Its cold and really windy out today too. WInd gusts up to 60 miles per hour.

Have been loving my Dj gig and been having lots of fun. They have someone new who is supposed to start and give me every other weekend off work. That would be cool

Been A While

I haven't kept up the last week and a half............
I really took a vacation......I cleaned, I shopped. Got a new Christmas tree one of those pre lit jobs.. No school , No computer...I was home but took a break.
Had a great thanksgiving.... It was a nice day.Cleaned, cooked, Overate
watched the Proposal it was a cute movie
Went christmas shopping yesterday.. we needed to replace a computer and we ended up getting a netbook...kinda for Dalton to use so I can have my Laptop back to myself..How exciting that will be no more stickey finger smudges..
LG Lifes good
Not much else to say
Feeling greatful

New Web Site

I have found a really cool new site and want to make these candles aern't they the bomb? You can find the directions for how to make them at www.howtohauntyourhouse.com

I am so gonna be making some of these lots of them actually. I am scouring the net looking for inspiration as I am so in a halloween mood now . That it is weeks over and I have 340 some odd days to go

348 Days to Go Oh My!!!!!

It is 348 days till Halloween 2010...................Saying that outlouds feels like an eternity
I know it comes in a blink of an eye butt tonight it feels like forever...Not that I want it to be October 31 or anything just wish we could do Halloween for 3 months, or maybe 6 months like we do winter......
I am typing this as I avoid doing a 4-6 page paper thats due tommorow night.
Had a great weekend working Karaoke at the Leaning tree. Firday nioght was the Bomb. Most fun ever..Sober even.
Yesterday I went to a Bridal shower for a co-workers kid. I have never laughed so hard in my life One of the shower gifts given to another co-worker at my table was a toilet paper air freshener.. You know the old school vented roll thingie? I almost peed myself laughing all the while thinking am I really that big of a bitch.........
I don't think so, it was funny. I laughed fro 3 hours no joke......... So Kathy is totally gonna have the freshest Ass in town.
My ears are killing me..think i have a infection
Gotta get to that paper

Still checking

or would just bold be better?

Test

I need to brighten up the postfor my bad eyes to go back and read. I am wondering if this is too bright. This is a test . Just a test

Friday the 13th

Are you superstitious ?
according to what I heard on the radio 21 million people are. I am not one of them. If it was the full moon and Friday the 13th maybe. But more nervous of the full moon then any particular date. People are strange when their is a full moon, very strange.
Well the date didn't keep people from coming in to get their haircut. We were pretty busy. and that's a good thing any day...Can't make money without customers. So far Friday November 13th, 2009 is a good day.

I went to my Husbands counseling appointment today, the one that was his where I was supposed to come alone. That I ranted and raved about. It wasn't so bad. I had to come to the very real terms of how bad my Marriage has been, always not just do to the husbands illness. I have to decide if I can live with the fact that I am always going to be alone. James cognitive functioning is always going to leave me without someone to talk too, who can function or process information well enough to be supportive of my needs. The answer is I am not sure. I am just not sure. How can you know?
I have just made the decision to hang on get my dental work done and move on it next year if I am still feeling like this. I feel more attached to the Life I have built here, within these 4 walls that I claim to hate, then I do the man.
I am skipping school again tonight, thought I was going to get a bonus night off form work tonight, but not to be.
Hope everyone has a freakishly good Friday the 13th
Wish I was doing something to honor the event, but please keep that bad juju away from me , nah I am not superstitious at all...................

And More on Frustration

Tryin to register for my Winter 2010 classes ob Bakers website and I can't cuz I can't take the co-req at the same campus!! lame ass School

I am so sick of it. I so need to get out of there and go somewhere where I can get a real Degree. It's not that it is not a real degree, its just harder to get the MSW after I will have to go for two years and do two feild assignments instead of 1 and I would be done in 10 months.

Oh well seems to be the way it goes Huh?


I am at work waiting for 1 O'Clock to roll around so I can go home for the day. Its been kinda slow and the weather is awesome outside so I am more than ready to go home for the day.

Still haven't taken pictures of the piled up totes of Halloween goodies. I worked outside yesterday raking leaves up and wanting to enjoy falls last kiss, before the harshness of winter sets in and leaves that bitter chill that hits all the way to the bones. I haven't moved the stuff up to store in the attic yet because I need to do some cleaning an reorganizing up there first. I do not want my Halloween goodies buried and tossed here and there like the Christmas stuff is.

Apartment Needed

I find mysell in need of a place to stay. Starting tonight... I cannot be here anymore. I don't kno where I am going to go. But I have to go. I guess the backseet of my car looks better than this freaking hell hole.
I must have aged 10 years in the last year. I look like hell. My Face is a trainwreck of acne and bumps. I have never had acne in my life.

I have spent days trying to put my thoughts together for his counseling sesssion on tuesday morning. Well It's his session but I am to go alone. Which I do not want to do . I have a therapist I do not need to see his. He does. But he goes in there and lies to him. He lies to himself . Oh the only thing I care about is making her happy.. Bullshit!!

He wants to make me happy if he doesn't have to physically do anything or put any work in to make that happen. I wanted to make things work, but you can't work alone.. I wish I could be the hero of my own story. But when someone puts up roadblocks on every road you try and travel. You find your self left with nowhere to go.
So here I am left with nowhere to go. I am however not all dressed up............

Almost the weekend

It's almost Friday
not that means what it once did..Sense I have started working at the leaning tree I only have 1 day off a week and that is Sunday..
Kinda sucks..I am going to talk to them about not working every weekend, Rachal said they will use the hell out of me if I don't stick up for myself.
I am sure that is true.
Not really having much else to say today. Yesterday was my Girls 22nd birthday. Hard to beleive that 22 years ago I was a new Mom, scared out of my wits.
I had Ashley all on my own, Her Dad never steppin up to be a Dad. Thank Goodness for the awesome parents I had who helped in everyway they could. Love them and Miss them everyday.
Happy Birthday Girlie!!! Hope they just keep getting better.

Post Halloween Blues

The pumpkins for this year. I did the BOO with a dremel tool and used a drill for the center holes. I liked it alot. The big one is supposed to be a creepy tree.I just free handed the drawing and dremeled the outline and cut but I guess I should have used some stabilizing pieces and left some things attached. A well Not bad for a first try and certainly the best I have done.






I packed away most of my Halloween decor last night I definatly need to take pics of the number of boxes that are piled up and the addition of all my new target goodies I added at the post Halloween sale.







The stack is approx 5 to 6 feet tall and 5 feet wide maybe? and thats not even everything. I haven't been able to bring myself to take down the bates Motel sign or the New witch mask I bought at Peir One. Those may have to be moved into my bedroom for year round use. I could use the inspiration....oh yeah and there is still a tote on the floor with out a lid.Some of my favorite decorations for the year my fifteen dollars worth of glass ware bar or apothocary area

Me on halloween singing Karaoke at the Leaning tree golf course

Paulaween 2009

Well here is my low-down for this year
I ended up getting a phone call form a friend and ran late getting ready. Had to be totally in my own get up before taking D out cuz I had to be at the Tree by 9.We didn't head out for our rounds until after 6. D wasn't stressing.
Ash went with me, As did Jager, Edward and Bella.
Dalton wore James camo stuff. Jager had on a prisoners striped uniform. Ed was a Pirate Jagers old suit. and Bella wore a snowbunnie outfit. They Rocked.
Didn't get pics of everyone we left Marinti at home it was cool and her hair is short and then she wouldn't get in the car.
Dalton got a decent amount of loot, as glad he went. Did carmel apple shots at my Bosses house and chilled by her fire for a few.
The bar had some customers. A few in costumes. Not enough. All and all it was a cool night.James was bored. I looked sweet. I still have more fun just singing and drinking than being the Dj and Karaoke Jock.
I had a good night all in all and it was my first time out on Halloween in my whole life. Only took me 42 years. lol
I will post some pics tommorow.
Only 364 days to go.........lol

On the Eve of All Hollows

I took today off of work for Mental health reasons and am currently Chilling in bed watching Hocus Pocus and working on the homework I have put off for way to long. Ya like a 3-5 page paper due tonight and I hadn't started at all. With the current situation at home I haven't been able to do much of anything.
So as I lay here watching this wonderful halloween tale curled up with Edward( my long haired blue chihuahua)and Bella( my 3 month old black chihuahua) I am wishing I had a month before halloween was to be here. i finally feel like I could get into the spirit.
I have been posting a saying or Quote on my Facebook status and It is bringing back that spooky feeling.
You know the one right?
Where there is never enough time till Halloween
Where you can never start your prop building early enough
Where you question your sanity and then embrace the fact that you know your friggin NUTS...
never enough black paint
when your house needs fixin up but you travel to home depot to spend ridiculous amounts of money on the things your tearing apart and trying to age to the appropriate decay..
You can tell I am in the mood now can't ya ?
Maybe I just need to craft a clever way to convince myslef halloween is the next day starting in September
Happy Devils Night to all

Paulaween in 3 days

I will be working Halloween night at the Leaning Tree Golf Course. They are having a Halloween Party at least.
Dalton has decided to go Trick or Treating. Don't know if ot was the Gulit Mom( me ) poured on or just second thoughts but YEAH i get to go trick or treating
My costume is all set . I created a witches hat to go with my sexy ( although plus size) witches costume and I am so excited. I have hopes of finishing a witches spell book prior to SAt Night but we also have pumpkins to carve and I have a paper to write do friday night.
So we will see
till the next time
happy Haunting

It had been nearly a week sense my last post. I had intended to be doing a better job of keeping up with this than that.Butt in that almost week I helped my daughter say goodbye to a friend, a friend who sadly took his own life.
I of course saw my own marriage slip down into the darkness, I have no idea why I am still even here. Hopeless as it is I wake up and carry on every day only to be mistreated again. I guess verbal abuse seems to me to not be a justifiable reason to walk away. Although it is, as a educated Woman I know the difference on how we should be treated I know what abuse is. So why is it so hard to believe. Why does it always feel as though I am doing something wrong, aside from the fact that He always blames me.
And my Hisband is ill, and the thought of leaving him always makes me feel so bad knowing he is not well physically or mentally.But then again how is that my problem? He isn't fighting to get better and yes I realize that there are things that no matter how much you wish them away won't go, but he has given up. Dr. Adler told us he is lucky to be alive, I am not so sure anymore.

Hump Day/Prince Spaghetti Day

Weather wise its another downer.
Love this Michigan Weather. What Global Warming?
Supposed to be the warmest day of the fall and its raining. Where did the rain come from? The forcasters rarely get things right anymore.
Oh well, I over slept anyways can't seem to get back into the morning groove. I have started hosting Karaoke at the leaning tree, on Friday and Saturday nights. Don't really need the money ( i mean who can't use some. but it ain't gonna make me rich) just like to sing and need to socialize more than I do. Between Work, School and taking care of my Disabled Family I never get enough done and I am a work first play later kind of girl. So I never get things done and I never take time to enjoy myself . Viscious!
Did I mention I love to sing ? and I am not to bad at it, Not ready for American Idol or anything butt. I can carry a tune or two.
As for my Halloween Decorating troubles, I made myself go out last night and I worked on some Columns that I had glued together and had plans to create. I got 3 of the 5 sides done. I am sure they wont be done or ready to go out for this year. I should really start working on things in august next year.
This year was jsut such a bust what with Jason moving in in June and bringing a household full of crap with him when we only had a bedroom for him. I gave up my storage shed (in addition to the bedroom which I used as my studio) which is where I kept my Halloween stuff that I kept outdoors.
To the others who do Halloween up big time When do you start working on stuff? We always say we are gonna start earlier and never do.
I really need a space to use as a studio. All of my stuff is in the attic in boxes. It sucks
What to do, what to do?
I need more room ,
I need a bigger house and I need more hours in the day.
The Karaoke gig was supposed to be part time not every FRI and Sat and it has been every Fri and Sat for the last 3 weeks
Well thats it for Now
9 more days till Halloween or as my friends say PaulaWeen

Can't find my Mojo

I just can't find it anywhere.
Where did it go ?
Its not as though I do not feel creative or anything I have been working on recreating a art piece I saw in Sumerset Studio's latest issue with the cool halloween art in it.
I can't get myself to get up go out side and do anything about the pathetic way my DH has set up the tombstones.I know I know atleast he is trying to get the stuff out and that is a far cry from where he was a few years ago. He stopped trying to do decorations or help at all. He was always unavailable.
Or maybe its that Dalton said he doesn't want to trick or treat. WTF???
What about Me? the dogs all have costumes where are they gonna go?
At 42 I have never not trick or treated when I became to old I took out theNephews and the niece. then my own kids which trick or treat wise I was lucky they were 10 years apart.
I guess its time to have another kid, Huh? 42 is not to old at all..